At the Rosary for Ray Nuss at All Saints Catholic Church on September 9, 2015, sharings were given by Mike Wagner, Elizabeth Languell, Robert Schutz, Danny and Elizabeth Muzyka, Billy Fields, Bill and Diana Morin, Bill Schaad and Bob Montgomery.
Mike Wagner: I want to tell Kevin and Tim and Trisha and Pauline what a privilege it is to be here. You guys have been at every moment in my life that I can remember. Even when we tried to get away from you guys from Kansas – we lived together in Kansas – by-golly a year or two later you show up here in Dallas. We didn’t even know they were here and they turned up six or seven miles from our house. They are the ones that brought my family to the Lord and to the Community of God’s Delight and in every moment and every place in my life growing up, all the way up until two weeks ago, Ray and Pauline have been a part of my wedding, graduation, children’s births, my son going into the Navy -- my entire life. I just want to say what a privilege it is. I used to think Ray married Pauline so she could get him into Heaven because he’s an ornery cuss.
But I think he made it on his own and I just want to tell you what an honorable – and I don’t want to throw these words around lightly – what an honorable man Ray was and is; He is a servant of the Lord and an apostle for the Lord and evangelist. I still want to be him when I grow up but it’s been a privilege being a part of your family and having you as part of our family.
Elizabeth Languell: Father Peter mentioned the Lumen 2000 program. St. John Paul II and his friend Piet Derkson in Holland started this. They asked Bobbie Cavnar to have a school here where people from all over the world could come and learn to make evangelistic videos and television programs. So Bobbie went to Ray and said, “I really want you to go to Africa to find potential students who would be able to serve the Lord in this way.” And I think it’s the only time that I know of that Ray ever said “no” to Bobbie Cavnar. He said, “I’ve never been to Africa, I don’t know anything about media, it’s not me.” But then, it seemed like everywhere he went he heard the song, “Here I am Lord, send me.” Finally, one time when they sang that song in church, Pauline said to Ray, “You know, I think you’ll be going to Africa.” And he said, “I know.” He did go and he made at least six trips there and would find these people and bring them back and they were all wonderful and they loved him so much.
I want to read you just a couple of letters from them. And one is from Patrick Mapuranga from Zimbabwe and he said:
“It is grief and sadness that I have learned of the death of my dad, Ray J. Nuss, whom we also called Ray J. Nuts. What a sad loss indeed. I studied in the United States of America courtesy of the man who identified me as a potentially talented media man. This was a dream come true for me. During my studies the man and Pauline took Sister Dolorosa and me into their home like their own children. Indeed I’m at a loss for words. My prayers.”
And this is from Bibi Muny from the Congo to Pauline, Tim, Kevin and Trisha and the whole family:
“My sincere condolences to you all. I feel so sad. I just can’t believe our beloved Ray is gone. My family and I loved him so much. He loved us back even more. And we have a special bond to this time back in our homeland, Africa. Our first encounter was an answer to my prayers. You know Ray is the one who brought us to the Community of God’s Delight. After we met him in the parking lot of St. Monica Church, after one of Father Don Calloway’s testimonies. He was such a loving man. I used to tell him that he was my American Grandpa. My encounter with him had a deep impact in my spiritual growth. I will miss him dearly. May God grant him eternal rest and peace. Praying for you all, may God comfort you all.”
There are many letters like that, but I don’t want to take that much time. Once Ray was at the airport and he saw someone standing off to the side alone. He was from Africa and his brother was supposed to pick him up, but didn’t show up. So Ray said, “Just come home with me.” So he did and he stayed with Ray and Pauline for a couple of days until they were able to reach his brother.
You all know what Ray is like and you’ll hear a lot more and I don’t want to take all the time but he is so special to us. He is the Godfather of our son Danny (and probably half of the Community kids). I will miss his railroad train whistle and his Donald Duck voice.
Robert Schutz: Ray Nuss, how many hats can a person wear? Ray Nuss, the evangelist, who never stopped talking about the Lord. Ray Nuss, the greeter. who always greeted us at the Prayer Meetings every Sunday. Ray Nuss, the teacher, who taught barber college; I had no clue about that. Ray the gamer, who loved to play board games, card games, it didn’t matter. I witnessed this personally where we played for seven days from sun up until way past sun down in Branson. Ray the salesman, who sold me a set of cookware twenty-five years ago and I used it until I replaced it recently with another set of cookware that Ray sold me. I think Ray can sell ice to the Eskimos, and I bought it hook, line and sinker.
Hook-line and sinker, that’s something I can talk about. Ray loved to fish. Boy! Did he love to fish! I started fishing with Ray, Mike Williams and David Hill who asked us to go out to East Texas and we fished all weekend. They had planned a day, way out in advance and the only I could think of is poor Pauline, because I know every night Ray was going through and organizing his tackle box, getting it ready for the trip three weeks later. It was a wonderful weekend and from then David said, “Let’s plan it again next year.” And that’s all Ray needed. For the next year, every Sunday Ray would relive the weekend and then figure out what they could do better the next time.
A lot of people misunderstand fishing. They think about fishing and say to me how they love to catch fish. That’s not “fishing” that’s catching. Ray loved to fish and it didn’t matter if he caught fish or not. To Ray, fishing was an art. He used two zip-code reels, he had an 808 and a 404 and those were his two reels. He thought these were the greatest reels ever made. When I was growing up, you gave a zip code to someone who was just beginning to fish because they couldn’t tear it up and it didn’t matter if they lost it because it didn’t cost that much. But you couldn’t tell that hardheaded German anything. He thought it was the greatest reel. He could send it back in and get a free new one. It was absolutely the greatest thing. Ray treated his tackle box like a sacred box. He would pull out a lure, he would look at it and you would think it was made out of gold the way he was treating it and he would say, “Robert, this lure) here will catch Blue Gill. I’d say, “That’s great Ray, we’re fishing for sand bass.” He’d throw it in and get another lure out and said, “This one here will catch crappie!” And it would go on. I would love to give Ray a hard time when we were fishing. I would catch a real small fish and I would throw it over at his line and say, “Would you keep your fish on the side of the lake; I need the big ones over here.” It wasn’t long after that a fish came zooming past my space and he said, “Keep your minnows over there.” Ray would be very competitive. He’d keep track of who caught the most fish. He’d say, “I’m Two up on you,” if I happened to get ahead, he’d say, “Well my fish are larger.”
Over the years I fished a lot with Ray, I can’t even think of how long it’s been. I know that even when we moved down to Houston, Ray would come down and go deep-sea fishing with me. We had so much fun. One time we went out with the Peterman’s and my brothers, and he brought his grandson back down with my nephew and we went fishing again. He loved to fish and it didn’t matter what. But it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t tell at least one fishing story about Ray, and David I’m not going to tell about the catfish that it took both you and Ray to pull into the boat that I caught. I won’t mention that one.
Ray was not a fair-weather fisherman like David and I were. David and I would pick the nice warm day, nice calm day but Ray didn’t care; he would go out. One day there was a die-hard fisherman, DK. I think he used dynamite because he would come in with a boatload of fish every time. And DK said, “You don’t want to go today?” And I said, “Ray, it is getting ready to pour. I’m not going out in a boat in the rain.” And he said, “I think we’ve got thirty minutes.” And Ray said, “I’ll go, DK.” They took off, went out. I waited an hour and the bottom fell out of the sky, I mean it was pouring. I kept looking for them and didn’t see them. Then, all of a sudden, I hear this engine coming. I look and see this boat going as fast as it can, wide open! Two guys pulled in, put the boat in the dock and when I looked it looked like two drowned rats climbing out of the boat. Ray was soaked completely and I went out and said, “Ray, what were you thinking, being out there like that?” And Ray, the way he would talk, lowered his voice and said, “Robert, that guy is crazy! He wouldn’t come in until we got our limit. Then the water started pouring down and we couldn’t see the shore line and he got turned around and started going the wrong direction.” And Ray said, “DK! Where are you going?” And he replied, “I’m lost, I’m trying to find shoreline and I’ll just follow that around until I find familiar surroundings.” And Ray said, “That will take forever! Turn the boat around and start heading this way and I’ll tell you how we can get home!” After that I think Ray became more of a fair-weather fisherman.
I’ve talked about some of the characteristics of Ray Nuss, but there’s one thing for certain when I look out and see so many of his friends is that he was a special friend and that he will be missed by all. Thank you.
Danny and Elizabeth Muzyka
Danny: Elizabeth and I met Ray in 1974 and like so many of you we met him at the door at Bishop Lynch High School. Ray welcomed us as he would all of you with open arms and love as Christ would love. That began a journey in life that carried on past that until in 1975 when I joined Elizabeth and joined the Wagner, Nuss and Arcenaux families for a non-residential household, which was before Elizabeth and I got married. With the wedding, special events began as Elizabeth will share about.
Elizabeth: Actually, just a matter of weeks before Danny came and joined us in this non-residential household, we heard the story that is so familiar to so many now about when Ray willingly pushed Pauline in a wheelbarrow down Ninth Street to their wedding reception. When Danny and I started dating and Danny came into household, and when they found out that our wedding reception was going to be only a few miles from the church, they got the idea that they were going to make Danny push me to the reception. So this went on for weeks and every week they would sort of raze us about that. Then as our wedding date came to be established Ray and Pauline told us that they were heart-broken that they weren’t able to come to the wedding, that there had been a Couples’ Retreat already planned and they couldn’t change it. I kind of breathed a sigh of relief.
So we’re at our wedding and we go down to the Kiss of Peace and we’re giving everybody the kiss of peace and there’s Ray and Pauline. Ray’s got this bigger-than-life smile on his face! And Danny and I were walking back to the altar and I leaned over and said, “You don’t think he brought that wheelbarrow do you?” And he said, “Aw no, they’re going right back to the retreat after the wedding.” After the wedding we got in the car and arrive at our reception and there’s Ray and Jack Wagner and Mike Wagner and Eric Wagner. Danny said, “Sit down and trust me.”
Danny: So many of you know the tradition that was started by Ray and Pauline they brought to us and so many families. Pauline, how many people are signed on that cloth? We had the privilege of taking that inaugural ride and what occurred to me as I was reflecting about coming here today is how Ray lived his life and what Ray handed on to us. We, in our Catholic Faith, rely a great deal on tradition. In Scripture there are two kinds of tradition, the tradition from the law and the tradition that the New Testament clearly says, “I have handed this on to you, what you have heard in word and letter.” Because so many people, only 50% in the world today, can only read so they can’t live by scripture alone, that tradition that was brought here to us was very important. And how does that tradition relate back to us? Almost as if Ray pushing you down Main Street represents Christ caring for His Church. He taught us that. He taught us by example, he taught us to love by his example. He carried you on Main Street. Much was taught and poked fun at that but that was a great tradition that was handed on to this Body, courtesy of you and Ray.
For our family, what we’ve been able to share with some of our other children that have now ridden in the wheelbarrow (supplied by your dear husband, bringing it to College Station) has been a great gift for so many. Ray lived the love of Christ. He exemplified that. He taught it by example. He taught us how to live! We are the ones who have been so blessed by his life and your life.
Elizabeth: Some thirty years ago, my mother died and we felt a loss of that spirit in our lives so we probably out-numbered you here, adopted Ray and Pauline as our children’s “grand-buddies.” It was very special to us and always will. So tonight as we do what Father Peter encouraged us to just pray that Ray will be before the fullness of God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. We know he’s praying for each and everyone of us.
Billy Fields: My name is Billy Fields and I can’t really remember when I met Ray, but it had to be around 1973. At that time we just clicked, like buckwheat and gravy. We had a lot of fun together. In the early days, each time someone got married in Community, Ray would look for me and say, “Wherever here’s food – there’s Willie;” and “Willie, where’s the food?” and we would share food together and when Rosemary, my wife, and I had our youngest daughter, we asked Ray and Pauline to be their Godparents and they accepted. I have a photograph at home where Ray is grinning from ear to ear as he holds my young daughter in his arms. Over the years, Ray and I just joshed around and kidded around. He would shake your hand and try to squeeze your fingers. Well, I learned early on, that you grab him real good, he couldn’t squeeze your hand and he said, “Hum, you caught on!” Yes, I caught on.
They shared about him going to Africa, bringing back Lumen students. Each time Ray came back he was sure he was experiencing Africa and he put his arm up to mine and said, “Almost there.” I said, “Well Ray, you’re almost there but what about the hair?” He would laugh it off and we just really had a good time together and when things bothered him he’d say, “Willie, come here.” I’d go over to him and he would share with me what he was aggravated about, mostly the air conditioner. And I said, “Ray, I’ll cut the air conditioner off for you.”
And we would talk about our youth. He would share his youth with me and I’d share mine with him. He told me how he met Pauline and I shared with him how I met Rosemary. He shared with me that in his childhood he had a good friend that he met who was an African-American and Ray and I were just very comfortable together. We shared all kinds of things, good and bad, and funny and serious. And I’ll always remember him for being Ray.
Diana Morin: When I think of Ray I have to think of you, Pauline. They, in my mind, always fit together so beautifully. We shared a common journey with them, though twenty-five years apart; Bill and I too married at nineteen and twenty-four, just like them. We started our new marriage in Wichita, Kansas, not far from where they had lived in the early parts of their marriage. Though we didn’t know them in Kansas, we met them in the 1980s here in Dallas at the Catholic Charismatic Prayer meeting. I remembered this connection with Ray immediately. Bill and I had taught Life in the Spirit Seminar for at least three years but he insisted that we go through the one in Dallas and do it just the “Dallas” way. He was very insistent German and he did win my heart with that. Who cannot feel connected to this beautiful couple?
Bill and I cherished every minute with “Poppa Ray” and Pauline and so years ago we decided to build memories with them and celebrate their anniversary, which is August 6th. It was an evening we always looked forward to every year because we made it extra special. We were always touched with the way Ray would greet you at the door and open your car door and just the delight Ray would have on his face. He loved Pauline and he delighted in her beauty. Their marriage was real; they had the humble gift of what I call imperfection, that gift that we all share with our own moodiness, our frustration. But they had a beautiful abiding love because they were so open to the gifts of the Spirit and a deep trust in his plan for them. We admired their beautiful daily trust in God’s provision. But their love did not stop there. If you ever saw Ray and Pauline on the dance floor or on a date night or sharing wisdom at a wedding reception, you knew that they had such a deep romantic love for each other. They never lost that glimmer in their eyes. On our dates with them, it was like they had a child-like gaze and wonderment about each other, even after so many years had passed by. Their love was human and it was imperfect, but they allowed God to transform them daily, living humbly and accepting the grace to forgive and to love with complete humility.
Bill Morin: Last month we took them out for their anniversary and it was clear that Ray’s life was closing in on him. Even with better hearing aids, his limited vision was making the world much smaller. This was a struggle for an independent man who had spent his entire life making others feel loved and welcomed. Pauline lovingly ordered his food for him and tried to make sure he could see his favorite lobster bisque and time to enjoy it. The roads had clearly reversed but it was a sweet tenderness that allowed him to accept her help. What a great witness for us all, to truly “love until death do us part.” Could you ask for a better witness in marriage? The evening Ray died we went to visit Pauline and shared a few tender moments with her. She said her deepest sadness was that she did not get to tell him goodbye. She needed one more time to tell him how happy she was that he was her husband, her best friend and her lover for all these years. She also said she knew she had to let him go and had begun the process to do so because he now belonged to God.
What a wonderful journey it has been for them! What a great blessing that we were all a little part of their journey. What a great witness to how our spiritual relationship should be with Christ on our own journeys back to home with God in Paradise. This is a quote from St. John Paul II’s “Theology of the Body”:
“Alone, man does not completely realize his instance of being a person. He realizes it only by existing with someone and even more deeply and completely by existing for someone. The communion of persons means existing in a mutual for in a relationship with a mutual gift.”
Ray ran a good race and we should all inspire to run as good a race as he did.
Bill Schaad: I was told I had four minutes! I could tell a few stories about Ray but to me Ray was just a true servant and I tried to sit down and I thought about what to say tonight and I thought I had my thoughts together. So I sat down in front of the computer and as soon as my hands touched the keyboard my mind just went blank. So I said, “Lord, I guess we’ll just wing it then.” But I’ll just say it this way: I could have typed a few words; I could type a thousand words; I could have written a book of all the ways that Ray touched my life, my family’s life. I think if I would sum it up it would just simply say that Ray was a lover of men and the whole human race. Since I couldn’t type words, this morning the Lord brought this song to mind and I think it does a pretty good job of demonstrating how Ray’s love touched the world. Maybe I can sing this:
Creation tells a story that began so long ago
Of love that longed to share its life and hopes that love would grow.
The sun repeats each morning, the story is retold
And just in lights retelling new chapters yet unfold.
Love that’s really given wants to freely be received
And all the love you poured on us can hardly be believed.
And all that we can offer you is thanks,
And all that we can offer you is thanks.
Your care called out a people, your love made them your own,
You freed their hearts and calmed their fears and finally brought them home.
It’s when our trials are ended we must easily forget
That your friendship never ceases, your love shows no regret.
Love that freely given wants to freely be received.
All the love you poured on us can hardly be believed.
And all that we can offer you is thanks,
And all that we can offer you is thanks.
We love you Ray!!
Bob Montgomery: Hi, my name is Bob Montgomery and I wormed my way up here. Pauline didn’t ask me but I could not miss coming up to talk because I remember clearly the very first time I ever met Ray Nuss. I really can’t tell you when it was, I don’t remember that. I don’t remember where it was either. I don’t remember under what circumstances it was, but there was one thing that just burned itself into my memory about Ray, and that was his handshake. There are very few hand shakes that I remember in my life, most of them are courteous, most of them are quick, they are perfunctory, and they are unmemorable. But no one can forget Ray’s handshake. It was unique because it communicated so much in just a touch and it forced a bond that lasted forever. The first thing that one notices about Ray’s handshake is its energy. You grab his hand and you feel like you’re grabbing onto an electric cord with twenty thousand volts. This tingling sensation goes in your hand because he’s squeezing, like Billy said, but then it goes up your arm and you know that something’s going to happen. You don’t quite know what’s going to happen but you know that it’s going to be something.
My favorite mother-in-law, Pat Wagner, has probably known Ray and Pauline longer than just about anyone in this room, besides their family. She likes to reminisce from time to time about the group that used to hang around together in Wichita and it kind of continued their relationship here. She talks about this group of young marrieds, they did so many things – dates, service and vacations together – and she always uses one description. She said, “They were fun. They were lots of fun.” Wherever Ray was, there was fun. The first time I specifically remember was at my wedding and he came sliding up to me as Gretchen and I were shaking hands with people and he told me about this tradition with the crazy wheelbarrow. We got married in this church and our reception was a mile and a half away -- in January. He told me I had to push her in the wheelbarrow all the way to the reception. And I bought it, hook, line and sinker – just swallowed the hook. And I asked him, “Really? A mile and a half?” And you could see the twinkle in his eye that he was having a lot of fun with me. But if you look at the hundreds of pictures of brides being pushed in the wheelbarrow, you focus on their faces. What you see is an incredible amount of fun.
You notice a lot of things about Ray’s handshake, you notice his strength, and you notice the invitation. Sometimes he would grab your hand and reach around and grab your elbow and kind of pull you in like an invitation to come and be a part of us. It was perfect for the Greeter Ministry and he kind of pulled people in. I noticed that when you would shake his hand, it was like there was an offer, like he was saying, “How can I help?” Over the thirty years I’ve known so many people who have stayed in Ray and Pauline’s house where he was trying to help them, but his offer went further than that. Ray was always present in our Community and in our life together.
One of the things that we really tried to value is the presence of each other at our Gatherings, and Ray was always there. He was present; he shared himself all the time. But a lot of people sometimes show up and they are simply there and simply observe, maybe like someone who is going to the movie and not really participating. But Ray was all in! Every time he showed up he was all in – body, soul, spirit – everything! He’d always ask how he could help. I can’t tell you the number of times where I’ve been participating in or leading an event and Ray’s always there saying, “Can I help? What can I do?” Then he just goes and does it. It was that example of Christians joining in and helping that really helped cause my own conversion. He was one of the men at my Dad’s death that just jumped in. He was all in.
His curiosity about people was amazing with his handshake. If I go in and meet a crowd of ten people and I shake their hands real quick and get their names, two minutes later I ask myself, “Who was that? What was his name? Can you introduce me?” Ray would go into a group, shake everybody’s hand and two months later and you ask, “Who is that?” And he’d say “That’s Bill Smith and his wife is Peggy and his children are Alice and Greg and Jimmy, and their Catholic,” and he could just go on and on about the people. He always knew you and that all added together as affection. It felt like he wanted to be around you, he wanted to know you, he wanted to include you in his life. It all adds up also to confidence. His manly handshake communicated confidence that Christ has won the victory -- confidence that Christ is in control in every circumstance and he just oozed that everywhere he was. Can’t wait to shake that hand again!