I have had the privilege of being in the Community for around thirty-three years; I’ve grown up here. I’ve been part of the school, junior high, youth group, young adults and much more. But most of all I’ve learned an example of what a real relationship with Jesus looks like. I can stand up here and talk for hours about the Community, about the Covenant that others and my family made to God and the Community and the impact that it made upon my world. But I won’t.
Instead, I want to focus on how in the past six months my view of the covenantal relationship has changed; how it’s matured. I thought I had a great grasp on what covenantal relationship meant. I thought I had understood it. I knew it a little intellectually. I knew this was not something for a day, a year – it’s for a lifetime. This is the promise to God and the Christian Community of God’s Delight. This is not something I could ever take lightly. One thing my mom, Sue Bell, would always say to me is “wanting and doing are different things.”
In the past six months during this discernment process, I’ve had much growth, even if at that time I went before God kicking and screaming going: “Do you really want me to do this Lord? Are you sure?” But I was always reminded of a scripture verse: “Be anxious about nothing, but through all things, through prayer and supplication make your request known to God. Then the peace of God that passes all understanding will cover your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus which gives you strength.”
The more I gave Jesus what was in my heart, the more strength I received. The act of supplication has been hard for me. I wanted to hold on to the anxiety, the apprehension, the fears. This came naturally to me. Instead, I gave them to God, and every time that I let go and let God, the more at peace I became, the more empowered I felt, the more joyful, the more close to the Body of Christ I became. I thought that I knew actually a little bit about the life of the Covenant; after all, I’ve been here thirty-three years. I have lived here as an adult and as a child. Now this is becoming permanent residence.
Many things I’ve pondered and questioned: how could anyone want me to make this Covenant with them? Don’t they know me by now? Can they not see my weaknesses? Don’t they see all my faults? The more I was overwhelmed and questioned this, the more I was shown constant and unconditional love and constant affirmation by others. I realized in a deeper way that love is what I was called to do. In order to love, one must be loved; it is essential, and if God is love what do I have to be fearful of?
I know that there will be hard times; those sandpaper moments when things will be smoothed out. Amen, we need those moments. Yes, I said it - we need those moments and those people in our lives. I could go on for hours about what the Community means to me. I will save that for another time, but know this: know that I truly have been blessed here. I want to thank all that helped me to get to this point, that have taught me, been patient with me, cracked jokes with me and lent a helping hand. It’s because of you that I can stand before you today. May God keep you and hold you in the palm of his hands in my heart.
March 25,2012